Last year in mid November I met one of the most interesting and beautiful ladies I have ever come across, we met a mutual friend’s event at the Klerksdorp museum called “an exchange” and from the first moment I saw her I knew I had to somehow make her mine. I never spoke to her a majority of the night, mainly because I was afraid that she would reject me, but we spoke a lot the following morning and she ended up taking my numbers and we spoke on the phone. Long story cut short we spoke a lot on the phone and I really loved her, but me being the ass that I am, my insecurities got the better of me and we broke up.
For people who have never had a decent conversation with me it would be hard for them to believe that I am insecure about a lot of things. I am insecure about my looks, I’m insecure about my intelligence and many other things but that not the pint of this post. The point of this post is to show you how not dealing with your personal problems can lead to destroying valuable relationships and mess up your life.
In my small but significant life I can proudly say that I have only been in love with three women, whose names shall remain anonymous, and to be honest, all those relationships ended because of my stupid insecurities. I have never seen myself as worthy of love from someone else and this has lead to me to always believing that the people who claim to love me are actually doing me a favour and don’t actually mean what they are saying, not to actually say that was true it was just what i believed. I have been involved with some of the most loving women in the world and because of personal problems I have let all of them go.
Or take for instance my education, in a perfect world I should have my degree and working towards my Phd already, but because I’m an idiot and this is not a perfect world, I can never seem to finish what I have started and I am now a 24 year old without a degree and jobless. It’s not like i am not intellectually capable of doing that but I cant seem to get my ish together and finish my degrees. I have so far studied three different degrees from three different institutions but I have not finished any one of them and it irritates me because I know how easy they are. All of these things could have been avoided had I had better control of myself and known my weaknesses.
This is not a cry for help or an attention seeking stunt, it’s just me retelling a story I believe could help a lot of people. The best thing you can do for yourself if you want to be successful is to work on yourself because a man who conquers his enemies wins a fight but a man who conquers himself wins the war.
Have an awesome weekend my friends.